wish

“…to you it might have broken or shattered, but a wish is something that you hold dear in your heart — whether you aware or not.”

___

I have thrown away that wish long ago. a wish that I knew would never reach, as well as a wish I could never lean on. a wish I used to yearn about, and a wish I have seen being shattered away; painful as it was, and still it would never let go completely.

…yes, as I have thrown away that wish; about being understood and being cared, about being heard and being listened. about someone being by my side, to whom I would be able to be honest — where such would be the very least I could do.

…never completely, though. never completely, never enough.

perhaps, it’s just that I learned not to wish anymore. that only such wish is never enough; that I was only living in a dream for the wish to come true. a wish that sounds so childish as I look again, and how fragile it had been all along. cracked and shattered, and there it was; only remnants that were there to reminisce, blurred away as if deluded by distant memories.

that was the old story, though. not much have changed nonetheless.

such things doesn’t make you much stronger than before, nor does it make you much weaker. in some sort, maybe it does for a bit. yet it leaves a hole inside: some sort of emptiness that something used to be there, but then it’s no longer there. something that was missing, but not that of something you feel precious.

…at least, that’s what it was for me.

::

a wish is something that people rely on; sometimes it comes personal, yet sometimes it comes about other people as well. as for such, I decided not to look back again; to a wish that I have thrown away long ago. and for that, such wish is no longer there for me.

…or at least, that’s what I believe.

I’m (painfully) wrong this time.

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