wish

“…to you it might have broken or shattered, but a wish is something that you hold dear in your heart — whether you aware or not.”

___

I have thrown away that wish long ago. a wish that I knew would never reach, as well as a wish I could never lean on. a wish I used to yearn about, and a wish I have seen being shattered away; painful as it was, and still it would never let go completely.

…yes, as I have thrown away that wish; about being understood and being cared, about being heard and being listened. about someone being by my side, to whom I would be able to be honest — where such would be the very least I could do.

…never completely, though. never completely, never enough.

perhaps, it’s just that I learned not to wish anymore. that only such wish is never enough; that I was only living in a dream for the wish to come true. a wish that sounds so childish as I look again, and how fragile it had been all along. cracked and shattered, and there it was; only remnants that were there to reminisce, blurred away as if deluded by distant memories.

that was the old story, though. not much have changed nonetheless.

such things doesn’t make you much stronger than before, nor does it make you much weaker. in some sort, maybe it does for a bit. yet it leaves a hole inside: some sort of emptiness that something used to be there, but then it’s no longer there. something that was missing, but not that of something you feel precious.

…at least, that’s what it was for me.

::

a wish is something that people rely on; sometimes it comes personal, yet sometimes it comes about other people as well. as for such, I decided not to look back again; to a wish that I have thrown away long ago. and for that, such wish is no longer there for me.

…or at least, that’s what I believe.

I’m (painfully) wrong this time.

16 thoughts on “wish”

  1. perkenalkan.. salah satu penggemar blog lo.. halaahh..

    khusus buat postingan diatas.. gue gatel pengen ngomentarin..

    artinya lo udah tumbuh dewasa yud.. grown up requires so much pain.. one of those pain is letting ur wish(es) being shattered.. either by yourself or by someone else..

    i’d rather ruin my own wish than being ruined by someone else..
    hehehe..

  2. hmm, a painful memories about broken & shattered into pieces. for me it smells like heartbreak, ain’t ya? well, U didnt share anything ’bout how the-unreachable-wish happens but it helps nothing too, anyway…

    speechless. looking back to bitter part of Ur past. one that disastrous enough to change Urself forever (or until today, at least). sympathy.

    time will not heals, but healing needs time. just keep Urself alive. with or without wish(es). long live, die hard.

  3. a wish is something that people rely on; sometimes it comes personal, yet sometimes it comes about other people as well. as for that, I decided not to look back again; to a wish that I have thrown away long ago. and for that, such wish is no longer there for me.

    …or at least, that’s what I believe.

    I’m (painfully) wrong this time.

    siapa nih cewek yang beruntung? :mrgreen:

    but seriously, kalo gw boleh komen, …. hmmm…. I’m happy for you..
    soalnya kayaknya lo yang dulu gw kenal waktu sma itu gloomy banget. jadi… yah… good luck bro! :mrgreen: *yah, terlepas dari kenyataan bahwa masih memiliki wish menyakitkan*

    *kok gw ngerasa komentar gw ngga nyambung banget yah? kesannya komen gw ceria gitu, dan post ini setelah dibaca berulang kali, ngga ada kesan cerianya gitu*

  4. :: adji

    perkenalkan.. salah satu penggemar blog lo.. halaahh..

    kayak gak kenal aja… :mrgreen: btw, kok nggak pakai URL nih?

    artinya lo udah tumbuh dewasa yud.. grown up requires so much pain..

    mungkin, yah. tapi apa iya, buat tumbuh dewasa itu perlu menderita dulu?

    *garuk garuk*

    :: JenSen99

    time will not heals, but healing needs time. just keep Urself alive. with or without wish(es). long live, die hard.

    sure is. got no plan to die yet.

    :: arief

    siapa nih cewek yang beruntung? :mrgreen:

    no comment :mrgreen:

    *memangnya ada, gitu… 🙄 *

    *kok gw ngerasa komentar gw ngga nyambung banget yah?

    bukannya memang sudah terkenal kayak gitu yah? :mrgreen:

  5. OOT….

    met lebaran yud.. 😀
    mohon maaf lahir dan bathin…

    maaf kalau ada salah kata, komen, OOT dan hetrik, dan lainnya.

    *nunggu dikirimin parcel*

  6. :: cK

    OOT tuh… :mrgreen:

    *eh, bukannya emang udah terkenal yaa 🙄 *

    yak, yak, ucapan selamat lebarannya silakan dimasukkan di post setelah ini, yah. terima kasih sebelumnyaa 😎

    eh iya, met lebaran juga cK, mohon maaf lahir batin yah.

    *nunduk sopan*

    *sama yang lebih tua* :mrgreen:

  7. susah jadi orang terkenal *sok seleb* :mrgreen:

    wah, chika, jahat kali kau, masak ngga beruntung sih cewe yang mendapat cintanya yud1? kenapa ngga kau coba sendiri aja chika? :mrgreen:

  8. bodoh..
    if you knew it would never reach, ngapain wishing
    sharusny tu,, u should never let yourself have the thought that it would never reach.. that’s the biggest mistake..
    let go the faith, put away the trust
    makany tu wish ga terkabul, lah si empuny wish aja ga percaya sm wishny dia sendiri
    we live our own wishes n dreams, no one will do it for you, kecuali kalo org tu pny wish: living someone else’s
    tapi, baguslah u decided to throw it away,, sesuatu yg udah ga dpercayai lg ngapain d hold.. hm,, but anyway, are u sure u throw it away enough,, if you dont, try to throw it farther, coz perhaps it bleed again if still u are able to see what uve thrown– apalg kalo liat someone else pick it up and then succed (mirror psychology ni, jd maaf kl ga nyambung, tp kl nyambung,, yaudah ngangguk2 aja)

    eh, jd kalo udah dwasa ga blh pny wish???

    one more thing,, being honest is the very least you can do??!!
    jongmal, really?

  9. :: whitedevil

    bodoh..
    if you knew it would never reach, ngapain wishing

    perhaps it’s not that I that I had been wishing. it’s just that I didn’t realize that I still have it… until the day I understand. painful as it was, perhaps.

    one more thing,, being honest is the very least you can do??!!
    jongmal, really?

    that is the least I would have to do to that single person. please don’t get mistaken through the words. =)

  10. Ma udah bilang sih,, tapi dibilang sekali lagi deh,,
    Ma suka banget sama tulisan yang ini!!!

    Tapi yud1 ya,, mungkin jatohnya Ma lebih tolol ya, punya harapan2 kaya gitu, sering sedih gara2 itu, tapi tetep pengen percaya sama semua harapan Ma itu,, *fyi, Ma bukan masokis*

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